{Time Is On My Side...Except When It's Not}

I distinctly remember being 3 months pregnant.  I was so thankful for hitting the 12 week mark.  I felt safe, but I was wishing away the next 6 months.  I was dreaming of nursery decor, ultrasounds, and birth plans, all the while finally sharing our happy news with friends and family.  Little did I know those six months would be some of the longest of my life.  

I also remember being 6 months pregnant.  I was sure that I was going to be pregnant forever and never would the day arrive where I would hold my sweet baby.  I felt like it had been decades since I saw that first pink line.  I, the house, the family we were all ready for R.  He however needed a few more months.  Time dragged on. and on. and on. 

R is officially six months old.  Somehow we entered a bizarre time paradox upon his birth and now the days speed by unaware of my need for them to slow.  I still stare at him in amazement, unable to believe he grew inside of me.  He is a real person now.  He smiles and laughs, his momma's laugh, a full belly laugh that rolls one into another until the tip of his nose is red.  He "talks" for an hour at a time and is only still when he's sleeping.  Well, semi-still when he's sleeping.  I used to spend hours awake at night fretting over him sleeping on his back, worrying he would roll or, or just any number of other atrocities I can't bear to type.  Now, he sleep on his belly, knees to chest, diaper padded butt in the air with his mouth wide open and his daddy's snore.  His newborn onesies didn't fit until he was nearly a month old.  Now, he sits up on his own and nearly jumps out of his jumper.  He is more like a toddler than a newborn.  I can only vaguely recall his sweet new baby smell that brought tears to my eyes instantly.  His eyes, though, they haven't changed.  The way he stares into mine, straight into my heart and soul, reminds me that he knows me.  He's heard my heart beating from the inside.  And still, when he snuggles into me at night, he lays his head on my chest and holds my heart in the palm of his hand.

1 comments:

KLZ May 3, 2010 at 8:34 PM  

Over from Meetup Monday

I can relate to every word of this. My little guy is 7.5 months and I feel like he's completely a person I can hang out with now. Which is bittersweet.

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