{Oh Yea, Well I've Got One Too}

In the summer of 1997, I was already gawky and awkward in that bookworm, girl who spends the summer with her grandparents, tween-age way.  Looking back though, I knew more about being a woman in this world than I sometimes do now. 

It was a great summer, one filled with some of my fondest memories.  And, as usual, there were boys involved.  Boys who taught me the value of sarcastic, snarky wit.  Boys who laughed at my frilly outfits and pulled me down into the dirt.  Boys who rolled down hills and walked in streams.  Boys who had sisters to gossip with.  Boys who talked me into walking through the sewer to get to the park more quickly, with only one sub par flashlight, which died halfway in, leaving us to feel our way out.  Boys who challenged me.  Boys who sparked my "I hate boys!" phase.  Boys who became some of my best friends. 

These boys were different, right from the start.  These boys, having never seen me before, chased me home one hot summer afternoon in nothing but their cartoon character boxers and high powered super soakers.  I was dripping, crying, and sprinting from these maniacal strangers.  I lived in the country.  People were nice and kind and I was a girl damnit.  What were these boys thinking?  I lept through my front door and did the only thing I could think of.  I grabbed my own tiny squirt gun.  I leaned out the window and screamed "Oh yea, well I've got one too and I'm not scared".  I fruitlessly pulled the trigger and got no where near them.  They moved closer so I could hear their jeers and laughter.  At that point, genius struck.  I went in to refill my weapon and also grabbed a few mixing bowls.  The boys were reeled in closely taunting in perfect range for a quick bowl of water to the head.  They laughed hystrically and, so did I. 

Of all the things I learned that summer, of all the things those boys taught me, that was the most important lesson.  I could have closed the door behind me and cried.  I could have spent the summer indoors hiding from the hethens.  Instead, when things got scary, I joined them at their game.  I fought back and bent the rules.  I didn't run and hide.  Sometimes, even now, I forget this.  I forget that a battle is best if fought passionately and without concern. 

Lately though, I'm trying to be someone I'm proud of, who is strong and powerful.  I'm aiming to be someone I trust with myself and whom my son can look up to.  So, I keep reminding myself "I've got one too and I'm not scared".


{Things I say...}

  • "He's totally cussing me out in Velociraptor right now."
  • "I love a good book about teens in turmoil."
  • "No! Rowan, you may not crawl on the wood floors without a diaper.  You'll get a splinter in your penis.  I don't even know how to get splinters out of those."
  • "No, thanks.  I'm not that thirsty.  Plus, I'm trying not to have to pee today.  It's too hard in this outfit.  Skirt up, hose down, shimmying and shaking.  It's just too hard.  You know, like a bad rap song. "
  • "Of course I was in the circus!  Everyone was where I come from."
  • "Oh, don't worry, you'll know when I stab you."
  • "No, pelvis is not a dirty word.  It's allowed in our book....Your pelvis is your hip bone.  We've discussed this and even if we hadn't, why would I ask you to touch yourself in class.  Believe it or not, I don't want you touching yourself in class.  Students, please understand, do not touch yourself in class...No, you can't touch anyone else either. "
  • "I wish I were home right now. Or, passed out from drinking a bucket of margaritas."
Obviously, audiences vary.


{Thankful on Thursday} Slightly late and bandwagon jumping, but that's me

Hi strangers!  Remember me.  It's been a while I know and I'm not even going to lie this time and say that I'll never leave again because chances are...I will.  I adore writing. Period, with the word period to emphasize the period.  However, lately, like the past six months life has really taken over.   And, I hate that because writing is my me time, it's my decompression chamber, and when life is so screwy and I need it most, life rips the time away. 

Moral of the story: I'm here today and I really long to be here tomorrow.  Life, on occasion, needs to get the eff off my back.

Point of the story:  I'm going to jump on the "Thankful on Thursday" bandwagon because when life sucks what is more neccessary than reminding ourselves of all life's beauty.  Nothing. That's what. So here, in no particular order ,are the things I am especially, over the moon, thankful for this week.

*White Chocolate Carmel Cappucino on a crisp Fall morning.  Even better, that it's delectable and from the gas station for a buck fifty.  Take that overpriced coffee shops (who I love).

*Toothy grins that make me forget the worries of the world.

* A dayhome for the boy where I never, ever have to think twice about taking him.


*Endless shimp @ Red Lobster, yes, I'm admittedly disgusting during this particular promo.

*A job that I L.O.V.E. and being lucky enough to have it in a time like this.

*These kids I GET to work with, they are the best. I hot neon pink puffy heart them.  These so called "inner city, hormonal, juvenile deliquent, special, hoodrat, blah, blah, freaking blah" kids.  They complete me.  In a way I'm absolutely positive no one else ever will.  They are good, loving, spectacular people.

*Fall. Freaking, OMG, I love fall.  I saw leaves that had officially changed colors and fallen yesterday and I almost wrecked my car staring at their beauty, even if it was only like two.

*Still having the strength to believe.

*Cuddling on the couch in sweats with just me, a warm blanket, and full control of the remote.

*Amazing bloggers, and tweeters, who inspire me daily, who make me cry and laugh until I cry, who feel like friends I always knew I'd meet. 


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